9 weeks to go!!!

Ok so its crunch time! I've only got 9 weeks until we head over to Thailand to get married. Obviously I want to look and feel fantastic for my wedding but for some reason I just can't seem to get my shit together at the moment. I've been training really hard and eating really well most of the time, although when the weekend hits I seem to really struggle. Friday night and Saturday were pretty average food wise this week and I feel like I am constantly taking a step backwards as soon as I start to make some progress. You'd think having the wedding so close would keep me motivated but I just can't seem to stay on track for more than a week!

So anyway here I am back blogging hoping it will keep me a bit more accountable. In my first week I managed to get rid of about 10cm although too scared to take my measurements this week as I feel like a puffer fish after all the carbs I've had. Anyway will check them tomorrow and will start blogging my progress to keep me on track. Well now I've got that of my chest, the rest of my life is going really well. I'm managing to combine part time flying with working in a gym when I am not flying. I'm enjoying the variety at the moment, although not used to have so little time to myself and getting up at 5am for training is killing me!

Well anyway will update soon with progress reports and maybe even some pics if I'm feeling brave.

Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend!

Hilds

I'm Back..........

Well I survived, just.......

The last two months would have to go down as the hardest months of my life ever! As you know I was all set to step on stage in October, but due to so many challenges thrown at me I had to make the decision not to compete. I would love to be saying I will be up on stage in a weeks time although unfortunatley I will have to take another bash at it later down the track, preferably when life isn't so out of control.

So August was hell! I started out trying to fit in comp prep with moving and changing jobs, which I was coping with just. Although it all got a bit too hard when a close member of my family was diagnosed with Multiple Scelrosis, then 2 days later my Auntie died and then a week later another close member of my family was in hospital with heart problems. Somehow I managed to get through it all, its amazing how special family is in hard times. Cam has also been amazing and I'm sure found it very hard knowing that a lot of the times I was alone in Cairns.

I don't normally take too much notice of my stars but for the month of August they were spot on. " LEO, This is potentially one of the most important months you'll have for the next 30 years. Once August is over, the planet of hard lessons and obstacles, Saturn, will leave your sign. You'l have passed through one of the hardest levels of life ever. Your hard work and any problems of the past few years have left you older and wiser."

So I've survived and things are looking great. I can finally see that light shinning at the other end of the tunnel. With all that has happened one of the most positive things is that you really appreciate everything you have and really want to make the most of every day!

I have decided to go part-time flying, so as of October I will be part time (yee-ha). I have now officially moved to Mackay and will hopefully be down here more than I am away! I've still been jettsetting all over the place and can't remember the last time I was in the same place for more than three nights but at least I can smile about it now.

Health and fitness wise, I have managed to maintain a good training routine although nutrition has left a lot to be disired. I normally have a few good days followed by a few really bad days! So tommorrow is the D Day. The time has come to get serious and get my butt looking hot for my wedding in Thailand in January. So I'll be back blogging a lot more as I need every bit of motivation I can get at the moment.

So here is to a great October!

Break from Blogging for a while

Just taking a bit of a break from blogging for a while. Still reading lots of blogs just not posting at the moment! Be back soon........

Bring on January and holidays!

Well this month would officially have to go down as one of my hardest months ever!!!!!!

I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere although I'm really struggling to see it just now. So this week hasn't been the best. The good things were I managed to get the furniture moved down to Mackay, so at least Cam has a bed to sleep on. Although it meant that my Birthday was spent waiting for removalists, who seem to always be late! So now I'm in Cairns with no bed and an empty house although hopefully not here for long.

Anyway the last couple of days would officially be classed as shit! On Friday night we flew back to Cairns from Mackay. We had to go the long way home (via Brissie) coz there were no seats on the direct flights! We got back home about 11pm and crawled into bed about 1am. I was on call from 4am - 4pm on Saturday so I was just praying that I didn't get called to fly out. Although at 4am the phone rang and I had to be in at work by 5am! Well I was a bit of a walking zombie yesterday and purely survived by eating shit all day (I'm a big time emotional eater!). So on top of it all I had two lots or really bad news!

So anyway I've stopped eating shit today and made myself go for a run this morning and aiming for a few days of good eating, exercise and lots of sleep! I'm of to Melbourne on Wednesday for 8days training. Then I'm planning on surprising Mum for her 60th Birthday on the 29th. She doesn't know I'm coming over but thought while I was in Melbourne I might as well make the quick trip over to Adelaide for the night (she will be sooo happy!). And then finally after two weeks away I'll get to see Cam for a day or so. So life is busy at the moment and I'm coping and I know that things will get better week by week! So here's to tomorrow and a great day!

Moving onwards & upwards!

Things have been hectic, but going really well this week. I've managed to cram in back to back Japan trips, plus organise the house to be moved and done all my training!

I'm just in Osaka at the moment and went for a big run plus 20 minutes of stairs at the amphitheatre. I am still recovering as it was stinking hot at 6am, thought I'd get going early and I'd be ok, but the sun was out and beaming. So my face is still a beetroot and I'm just waiting to cool down before I jump in the shower.

I'm feeling much better about everything this week. My head is in a better place and starting to feel like things will eventually get a bit calmer. Since I've decided not to compete I have had mixed feelings, I feel relieved but at the same time a little lost. Di has been fantastic support through it all and has made the whole decision making process a lot easier. I was really concerned with letting her down and will miss the contact as she is a great trainer, but I just honestly didn't want to be only putting in 70%, as if I'm going to compete one day I want to be able to put everything in to it, and unfortunately right now I have higher priorities. Although in saying that I'm still training hard and following my nutrition plan (maybe not quite as strict some days but trying!). So I'll keep going along strong and doing the best I can each week and see where it gets me.

I am heading down to Mackay for my Birthday on Thursday and the great news is that all the furniture should arrive that day. I'm so excited as I can't wait to move into our new place as it is in such an awesome location. I have never lived right on the beach before, I'm already looking forward to doing some beach runs. There is also a big park next to us with some awesome stairs and a running track, so I'm set!

Will post some pics when I can get my hands on the camera. Cam has been taking lots of snaps of him in the helicopter and out on the ships. He is loving his new job, so it makes it all worth it to see him so happy! Can't wait to finally move, not long now!

Have a great weekend everyone and thanks for all the comments! Love Hilds

What a weekend!

Not quite as planned but a lot of stuff got sorted out this weekend. As you know I was hanging out to go and visit Cam and try and find our new home in Mackay.

So I got down Thursday arvo and finally saw Cam which was awesome! I spent Friday going around town checking everything out and went to all the gyms in town and had a sneak peak at what was available. By the end of Friday we had been approved on our first choice place to live. It was such a relief as I had my heart set on living at the Marina although our choices were limited, anyway we got an awesome Villa on the beach. So Friday night we celebrated and went out to dinner and even had a few drinks (all approved by Di!). So I was on a bit of a high on Friday. Although Saturday was a different story, overnight I had turned into this grumpy, moody depressed person. I was a bitch all day and really couldn't seem to snap myself out of it. I was ruining my only time with Cam for the next couple of weeks and was getting more frustrated by the minute as all I wanted to do was be settled in one place and just be happy. Although the more I thought about things the harder it all seemed.

The plan was while I was trying to compete, to stay in Cairns and keep all the furniture (gym stuff) so at least I had a base. As its hard enough trying to fit in an overseas trip each week and prepare all of my food and do my training without trying to stay at a friends house before and after trips. So I thought it was best to keep the house in Cairns until I competed. Although this meant that when Cam moved into the place in Mackay he would have no furniture (nothing) until October! It also meant I wouldn't see much of Cam and would mainly be living in Cairns by myself.

So after a very emotional day on Saturday I took some time to work out what was most important to me. Obviously it wasn't even a process as I new regardless of everything I just wanted to be where my partner is and start our new life together, not Cam in Mackay and me in Cairns!

So as hard as its been I have decided I will not be competing in October as I just know I cannot honestly put in 100%. There will be some weeks coming up when I will not be able to fit in all my training and I don't want to feel so guilty about it that it effects everything in my life. I am also changing employers in September and as such I have two weeks full time training in Melbourne in 2 weeks time, over this time I am in a hotel room and trying to cram as much study in as possible so I can pass. Also with my new employer I have a lot less control over my rosters and we have new flying patters so I don't even know where I will be flying or if I will get certain days of. So all of this has been stressing me out. I had always known that things were going to be hard and that I would deal with it as the time came. And I suppose that is what I am doing now. I never ever expected to be making this decision after my weekend with Cam as I have been feeling fantastic and noticing some good changes. Although at the end of the day my relationship, mental and physical health is the most important things to me. So I've had to tell myself I can't always do everything that I want.

So after a bit (that's an understatement!) of a binge on the weekend, I've pulled myself together and back into the training and eating well! It took Monday and Tuesday to get rid of those sugar cravings and get my motivation back. You forget how shit you feel after a binge session, it will take me at least this week to feel good again. But the good news is that my motivation is back and I'm just in Japan waiting for the gym to open so I can get an awesome cardio session out of the way.

So the removalist is booked for next Tuesday. I get back on Thursday from Japan and will be madly packing as I'm of to Japan again on Friday back on Sunday and have to have the house all packed up by Tuesday. Then I'm down to Mackay on Wednesday for my Birthday on Thursday (staying in our new place with absolutely no furniture) and then back to Cairns on Friday! Oh what a busy week, but at least I'm smiling about it now.

I nearly wasn't going to post this update as Its sometimes so easy to only post the positive things, although I feel so much better for getting it all of my chest.

Hope everyone is healthy and happy!

Love Hilds

I'm still alive!

I'm back! Have been a bit slack on the blogging front, reading lots of blogs just not posting much. So much has been happening I don't even know where to begin.

Firstly I had an absolute ball in Melbourne, loved watching the show and couldn't have asked for a better room mate! It was fantastic to meet Di in person and she is even more lovelier than I imagined. I also got to meet so many others (Sue, Jodie, Selina , Ali, Kerry, Nat, Kelly and I 'm sure more!). I felt a bit bad coz I really didn't get to chat to anyone much as I was so engrossed in watching the show and trying to work out if I could really do this.

Anyway I'm still going ahead, planning on stepping on stage in Oct 6 Brissie INBA show. At the moment I'm having massive up's and downs with it all (poor Di has to listen to it all!). Some days I feel on top of the world, really feeling like I am making changes and can see myself up on that stage. Where as other days I feel fat and frumpy, don't feel like I will be ready in time and why am I even bothering with it all (as I definitely don't feel like sports model material). Anyway aside from it all I am just taking every day as it comes and trying to do the best with the day at hand and hopefully all these baby steps will get me closer to where I want to be. I've worked out that my biggest struggle is when I am sleep deprived, my mood plummets, I struggle to stay on track with my nutrition and training is the biggest effort known to man. I'm slowly learning though that normally it only lasts for a day and as soon as I have a good nights sleep I'm on top of the world again. Will post some progress pics when I feel brave enough! (not for a few weeks yet). So I'm about 10 weeks out and lots of changes to be made in that time.

On the home front I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment. Cam is now down in Mackay and I'm still in Cairns. I'm finding it all a bit hard and really just wanting to get packed up and be there with Cam. Although due to changes with work and training it just isn't possible just yet.

On a positive note I have 3 more sleeps and I'll get to spend a few days with Cam! I'm so excited and I even get to have a free meal while I'm down there, I can't wait.

So right now I'm in Japan. I went for a 50 minute run this morning, followed by 20 minutes of stairs and feeling really good about everything (on an up day!). I'm trying my hardest to get a lot of my training done before I get to Mackay so I can enjoy some time of with Cam.

Anyway better get moving, got some shopping to do!

Have a great week everyone. Cheers Hilds

Melbourne here I come! (sorry no title as blogger wont let me)

So only a couple more days and I'll get to see my first ever show! I can't even begin to describe how excited I am and even more so now as Di is coming too and staying with me. Although that's freaking me out a little having your trainer see you in person and check out all your bad bits! Especially since I'm going to have to take the next couple of days of training because I have this rotten flu and just can't seem to kick it. I'm actually going to go to the Dr as soon as I get in tomorrow morning from Japan and see if I can get some antibiotics. I don't normally take them, think I've only had them twice in my life but with all this flying I just don't seem to be able to get over this cold. And all I really want to do at the moment is train hard, I'm already missing being able to go for a run but I just don't have the energy at the moment. So I want to be feeling fine for Melbourne, so trying to rest up today before my night flight home as the next few days are going to be busy.

Due to School holidays I've actually had to fly to Adelaide for a night just so I can get to Melbourne on Friday as all the flights are full out of Cairns. Anyway will get to catch up with the family for a night which will be lovely. Although now that I'm flying out a day earlier it means I only get in tomorrow morning and then I'm of at lunch time to Adelaide. So I don't think I'll be sleeping tomorrow as I have to pack and try and find some shoes (mine have gone missing, great timing) and other stuff before I fly out. Was originally planning on getting my hair done on Thursday although no time now so will be looking a bit dodgy. Oh well still extremely excited about it all.

Hope to see everyone on Saturday when I'm feeling much better ! (positive thinking)

I'm home! God it's good to be home after 6 days away.

Firstly I should apologize for my last angry post, as you can tell I was feeling very shit! Anyway it's amazing what a good nights sleep will do. I woke up the next day feeling a million dollars, sleep is my new drug!

So its been a busy but good week, my trip went quite quickly which is always great. I had a great crew to work with which makes such a huge difference so it was a great week. I managed to stay on track with my nutrition as I was very organised and had a weeks worth of salad packed, lots of chicken and heaps of tuna. So I can happily say I was a very good girl. I also managed to get all of my training done as the gym in Manila has quite a bit of stuff compared to your normal hotel gym, although could do with a few fans as I sweated to death.

I have my weekly check in tomorrow, check weight and measurements so hopefully I will get a good result. Its funny some weeks you can feel as you have done really well but the results don't show and others you feel you have gone backwards and all the measurements have actually gone down. I feel like I am shrinking so I just hope that the measurements prove me right.

Anyway getting excited about moving now, Cam is off in two weeks and then I'll start to organise when I can go down. I know I will want to go straight away although with comp prep and changing work shifts I am going to have to wait a little bit. I still have some days when I wonder if I am doing the right thing trying to compete this year when things are so busy. I kinda feel very selfish as I need to hold on to the house for a couple of months to keep the gym here so I can still get all my training done, otherwise we would rent it out a lot sooner. Anyway lucky I have an amazing partner who is happy to support me in all the decisions I make.

Anyway enough for today I have lots of DVDs to watch as I stocked up on all the new releases while I was in Manila, I hope they work wouldn't want to waste a whole dollar on a DVD!

Will check in tomorrow with how I have gone for the week.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Love Hilds

Sleep deprived!

Geez I hate the feeling when you are so tired but just can't sleep and you just can't seem to get motivated to do anything! Well this is how I feel today, I always feel pretty crap after a night flight but today I'm feeling very very average. I got in at 6am this morning and crawled into bed where I tossed and turned for three hours before deciding I was over it and was going to get up. Its really strange coz I'm super tired but just can't seem to sleep. So today has just been one big struggle not to overeat and really just survive the day. Haven't done any training as I decided it was best to wait until I could actually put in a decent effort, and I still have enough time this week to get all my training sessions done. So anyway just needed to have a whinge, I'll be over it tomorrow and feeling 100%, amazing what a good nights sleep will do! Anyway hope everyone else has had a far more productive day than myself! Sleep well! Hilds

Week 3

The weeks just seem to be flying by at the moment. I'm already into week 3 (13 weeks out), things have been going along well until the dreaded flu hit last week. Anyway I took my trusty trainers advice and took 3 full days of training and have managed to get over it quite quickly and back into normal training again. It was a bit of a tough week, only being my 2nd week and having to miss training sessions really did my head in a bit, but I'm slowly learning that there is no point training and getting worse when your body really needs rest. So I survived the week and managed to stay outta the gym long enough to get better.

So I'm back in Japan at the moment, have got a couple of nights here so spent the day browsing the outlet stores and ended up getting a new camera (should have been studying but the shops were calling!). Got a good run in this morning, actually went for longer than I had to as I was on a bit of a roll, did 55mins included 10mins (warm up and cool down), felt a bit shattered afterwards but its a good shattered! So tonight I'm just having a quiet one as the rest of the crew have gone for an all you can eat and drink buffet for 1 1/2 hours, I decided to pike as I wasn't really feeling like it (too hard to explain why I'm not eating all the crap they are!) and all you can eat is a bit wasted on me at the moment! Kinda prefer to save a special treat for when I am at home and can really enjoy it. I'm hoping for a great week of training this week, I really want to push myself a bit harder with the weights and might get Cam to take me through a couple of session. I always find you can push yourself that little bit more with someone pushing you along.

Have also advertised for a housemate this week, seems a bit strange but since I'm going to have a massive house to myself for a while thought I might as well get someone in (I'm a scardy cat on my own). Have been getting a few odd responses so hopefully I can find someone decent, never thought I would be sharing a house again! I'm trying not to stress too much about the next few months as I know it is going to be absolute mayhem, with changing jobs which involves 8 days straight of training in either sydney or melbourne (who knows how I'm going to fit all my exercise sessions in that week). Plus packing up a lot of the house stuff, helping Cam get settled in Mackay, finding a place to live in Mackay, plus still flying to Japan/Manilla and wherever else my roster tells me to go. Also looking after the house in Cairns until I permanently move to Mackay. All this while preparing for two comps and trying to plan my wedding.......arghhhhh. Anyway all exciting and only looking at a couple of weeks ahead at the moment otherwise I start to freak out.

Overall all is going well with comp prep so far although been having a couple of fat, frumpy days this week. Not really sure why, but might need to spend some girly time making myself feel a bit nicer. I think when I don't get any sun for a while I start to feel all pasty and a bit flat, can't ever see myself living anywhere cold and miserable (I would be on antidepressants!).

Well enough babble for one night. Keep smiling everyone. Lots of Love Hilds

Mackay here we come!

We found out yesterday that Cam starts his new position on the 23rd July! I'm so glad he finally knows what's going on as I could sense he was stressing out a bit. So finally we can start making some plans. It looks as though Cam will head down on the 22nd July whereas I'll be in Cairns for a while longer.

I'm still stressing out whether I have made the right decision to stay full time. So at the moment my plan is to keep the house in Cairns until October and then look at moving all the furntiure down. It would just be way too hard to commute full time until I can work out how my new rosters are going to work. At the moment I am still working for Australian Airlines (we look like qantas but where not quite yet!), so my rosters are pretty good with mainly Japans and the odd Manilla thrown in. Although as of September 1 Australian Airlines closes down and we will be employed as Qantas Short haul based in Cairns. Which means we now bid for our trips depending on seniority, which is great if your up the top but if your down the bottom like me who knows what my rosters will end up looking like. I also have 8days training in Melbourne coming up which will be very very long days, so I don't really know how I'll fit all my training in that week, but I'll just deal with it when it comes. I won't even know if I can get the comp dates of until very close to the time but again will just deal with it when the time arises!

So plan is stay in Cairns until about October, then move down to Mackay and apply for part time. Hopefully I can get part time later in the year as then I can finally try and get into doing a bit of personal training work. I'm looking at getting a couple of students in as we live right near the uni. I think I'd be too scared being here on my own all the time! And I will just head down to Mackay when I have a block of days of. So it will be a bit weird not seeing Cam all the time as we spend heaps and heaps of time together. But I'm thinking of it as a positive thing, we can go on lots of dates and it will only be for a few months. Will just make our wedding in January all the more exciting!

So I'm home until Thursday and then of to Japan again, back for the weekend and then of to Japan again for a two night Osaka on Monday. Well better get moving, groceries and washing to be done (all the exciting stuff!).

Have a great week! Hilds

Funny old Japan!

God Japan makes me laugh! I've done so many trips here now and the things I see never stop amazing me. I was just in the gym and was trying to figure out one of their weight machines, they have lots of different pieces of equipment and some look as old as japan itself. So I thought I'd ask one of the staff how it works, and when I did she just looked at me and shook her head and said I don't know (obviously they don't need the same qualifications to work in a gym as we do in Oz). Anyway had a great cardio session on the treadmill, just did 7km steady state, was dripping with sweat by the time I was done as Japan doesn't like their gyms to be too cold. Its funny you quite often see people still wearing those sweat suits. They also have these things that just shake you around, there is one in the gym that looks like a rodeo bull riding machine, its hilarious to watch people on it. Can't say I'll be jumping on one soon, it looks like all it does is wobble your fat around so everyone can see your wobbly bits!

Anyway have had a great week, all training sessions done and have had an excellent nutrition week as well. I can't even begin to describe how much better I feel after just one week of eating well. I haven't even really craved any junk this week, most probably because I've loaded up on it the last couple and have definitely had my fair share. We even have visitors at the moment and they have been enjoying a beverage or three every night and I haven't even felt like one (just hope that I can feel like this every week). So I'm now 14 weeks out from my first time I step on stage. Still no idea if I will be remotely close to where I want to be by then but just following my trusty trainers advice (superstar poster girl) and will see what happens. I also managed to get another exam out the way, I actually walked out feeling quite good. So only two more modules to go and I'm all done!

Still don't know when Cam has to go to Mackay so I can sense he is a bit edgy with the waiting so I'm quite enjoying having lots of trips at the moment (he he it's the easy way out!). I'm in Japan again today so have squeezed in 2 japan trips and 1 Sydney overnight and still managed to stay on track so I'm pretty happy with that. I have also got my roster for the next month now, so can start planning away! Some awesome news is that I have definitely got the time of to go to Melbourne, hanging out to see my first show. It is going to be so so so exciting as there is so many girls going that I'm looking forward to meeting. Just going to start checking accommodation out now and I suppose I better get some tickets.

Anyway enough rambling for one day, hope everyone is having an excellent weekend.

Enjoy!
Hilds

What a week....

Well last week was suppose to be my relaxing 10 days at home, it didn't quite work out that way! After a lovely weekend of indulging we decided to get motivated and paint the lounge room. Don't know quite why as we were just out for coffee and next minute we are at mitre 10 buying paint and getting stuck into it. So after painting the lounge room I decided it looked so good that I would paint the rest of the place (don't know what i was thinking!). Anyway after a full week of painting, putting in new lights and getting new carpet in the bedrooms the place looks fantastic. Only as soon as I had finished and packed that paint brush away we found out we are moving to Mackay! (have already harrassed Selina for all the inside information, thanks Selina)

Anyway its been an event filled week, with moving news, cams graduation and lots of planning as to what to do. So i'm feeling very fat and frumpy after a week of finding any reason to have a drink or eat crap! But on a good note it all ended on Saturday as I started my new program on Sunday and I'm loving the good stuff again. I can't believe how much better you feel when you eat well, my body just doesn't handle the crap food very well. I don't sleep well and I lack energy big time. So I'm in comp prep mode, still can't fathom the idea of getting on stage but I just not even thinking about that just yet. I've got Di keeping me on track and it's just awesome having someone who you admire help you get to where you want to be. I find it so much easier to stick to a plan and do well when I have someone telling me exactly what to do.

So I've got a very busy week ahead, the price I had to pay for having a week at home. I'm in Japan now about to fly home, back home Tuesday morning and have got my next exam booked in for Wednesday (lots of studying to be done tomorrow). Then i'm of to Sydney on Thursday, back on Friday and of to Japan again on Saturday. So I've had a bit of planning to do this week to make sure I get all my training in around it all. We have also got Cams parents arriving on Thursday for two weeks, its going to be tough not being able to drink but I'm sure I'll cope (sound like an alcoholic!).

Anyway gotta fly (literally).

Will check in soon with progress reports.

Cheers Hilds

My little sisters Wedding pics!

Well I've finally got some pics of my little sisters wedding! It's great to look back over them as it was such a great weekend, or should I say two weekends! They had the reception with immediate family only one weekend followed by a big party the next weekend! It was so much fun and I overindulged on both occasions!!!!!! (but what are weddings for!)

Love Friday's

Gotta love Friday's! Even though I don't work Monday to Friday I still love Friday's, I think its because everyone is in a better mood as they know the weekend is just around the corner.

So far today is of to a great start. I forced myself outta bed at 6:30 for my 45min jog. Its hard to make myself get up early sometimes as I don't really have anywhere to be so I could quite easily sleep in. Not that my body will let me sleep in as the guilt seems to creep in and before I know it I'm crawling out of bed and putting those sneakers back on! Had a great run this morning, bit of a struggle to get going as legs were a bit sore from my high intensity leg training yesterday but once I got into it and had the Ipod going full bore I was ok. My morning run is so worth the awesome feeling when I've finished, it really gets things moving for the day (he he if you know what I mean, sorry to be gross in the morning!). Anyway on to brighter topics.

Have planned to go out for a couple of bevie's tonight as we haven't gone out for ages! So might head down to the beach for a couple and then I've planned to be Chef for the night! Since we eat pretty simply throughout the week I thought it was about time I got creative and made something different. So Cam has chosen Spaghetti Di Mare and Apple Strudel (reminds us of our trip to Austria, ate strudel everyday!) for dessert! So a bit of a carb/fat fest tonight (glad I ran a bit faster this morning, he he).

I'm also catching up with a girlfriend for coffee today, god I love being home! I can't describe how good it feels not to be shattered from lack of sleep and be able to maintain a bit of a routine even if it is only for one week. I'm going to have a pretty relaxing weekend just catching up with friends. Because as of Monday I need to get some serious study in, as my next exam is booked for Thursday and I haven't really been doing much study. I'm not a lover of study, I love learning but just hate the whole exam thing!

Well anyway time to get motivated for the day!

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend.

Love Hilds

Well I'm so glad it's Monday! Last week wasn't the best week I've had. It started out ok, I got my new car on Tuesday which was awesome and am absolutley loving it! Also had managed to swap my trips so I could help Cam out with finishing of this aircon job which we nearly got finished! But as the week progressed I just felt like crap, I was tired, grumpy and feeling quite down. It was so frustrating as I couldn't work out why and no matter what I did I just couldn't seem to snap out of it. I'm guessing it was really bad PMS although wouldn't know as I have gone of the pill and don't really know when they come anymore. Anyway I got back from Japan yesterday and could only sleep for two hours, so felt crap all day and decided I'm going back on the pill as I just couldn't cope with myself. So hopefully I'll start to get back to normal this week. So yesterday I let my emotions win over and ate crap all day, even tried to have a nana nap as I knew I was just really really tired but the more I tried the more my body just wouldn't let me sleep. Anyway got to bed about 10pm last night and up and into it this morning. Managed to fit a 5km run in before getting ready and I'm about to head of to Japan again today, it's going to be a long day!

Anyway on a more positive note, when I get back I have 11 glorious days at home. I'm going to use this time to get motivated again and really get stuck in to training hard and eating well! Positive, positive, positive! So hopefully I won't have to bore you with a depressing, negative post next time!

Anyway better fly!!!!

Love Hilds

Feeling Motivated!

Just thought I'd better do a blog update while I remember. I'm home today and in the process of tidying up our garden (or should I say destroying it). I'm not much of a gardener and tend to just do a massive cutback every few months. I feel a bit sorry for our plants as they don't get much loving around here. It's funny whenever we go to the nursery to buy something (which is very rare) we always ask for the plants that survive on little water, full sunlight and not much attention! The poor nursery staff kinda look at us strangely and explain all plants need water. Well that's our problem we are not very good at consistently watering, we might need to invest in an automated system, oh well its all looking ok and we still have plants so we can't be doing to bad.

So anyway feeling pretty motivated at the moment, not really sure why but I'm not complaining. Feeling quite happy with my nutrition and training at the moment and just extremely excited about my upcoming challenge. I'm so glad I've made the commitment to compete and have stopped stressing as much and am just ready to give it my best. I've had a big change in mind set due to a few reasons. But one big one is that someone close to me is going through there own personal challenge at the moment (sorry can't tell details) but it has made me realise if they can face their fears head on then mine seems easy in comparison (still terrifying though!). So I'm ready for whatever is given to me. I've got Sue working out a program for me and I hopefully I will also be getting some help from Di (need as much help as I can get). I'm still looking at trying to get down to Melbourne for the INBA comp as I think it would be good to see a show before I do one myself (or maybe not, might scare me even more. he he).

All is going well on the work front. Things should be staying the same for now which is nice. The rosters are pretty good at the moment and tending to get lots of time at home. Although things will change in the next couple of months as we will cease to be Australian Airlines and will instead be employed by Qantas. This means we all need to undergo training to work on different aircraft. So hopefully by September the change over will be complete, this will mean very different flying for me and I will also have to bid for my roster. Currently we mainly just do short Japan trips and Sydney overnights and the occasional long Manilla trip. Whereas with Qantas we don't really know where we will be flying. So far its looking like possibly Shanghai, Narita, Auckland, Hong Kong and domestic destinations around Australia. In a way I'm hoping that the change over will be delayed so I can get the competition out of the way while I have easier rosters to work with. Anyway can't stress over it now will just have to wait and see as the time gets closer. I have also spent months trying to swap my annual leave for January so I can go to my own wedding although now I not even sure if I will still have this annual leave spot. So many what ifs at the moment which is so frustrating.

Another what if! Is the whole moving thing, now its looking like we might be staying in Cairns. So I've started to get all excited about staying, although there is still a possibility we will go. Arghhhhhhh I've had to stop worrying about this too and just deal with it when the times comes (should know for sure in a couple of weeks).

Anyway enough babble for another day! Time to get cleaned up because I'm going to get my new car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm very excited!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Cheers Hilds

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Mind Games!

Well another week down! It has been a busy one both physically and mentally.

Had to help Cam out with aircon cleaning on Monday and Tuesday, and boy was that fun (can you hear the sarcasm in my voice!). No it wasn't too bad we got heaps done, but sitting in the sun reading a book sounds so much better. We are both pretty busy at the moment, as Cam is trying to finish of his Customs training plus fit in his aircon work and I'm well not as busy but flying here and there and studying for my next exam and helping Cam out when ever I can. Have actually managed to swap my long Manilla trip next week so I can help out with more aircons. I think I must be crazy, I'm missing out on 2 Sydney overnights to clean aircons!

Anyway all is going well, managed to get back in to proper training again. Did my high intensity leg routine on Thursday and haven't been able to walk properly since. I actually think its the worst doms I have ever had. I had to fly home from Japan last night and really struggled walking up and down that aisle!!!!! Anyway I made it and actually got 4 hours sleep this morning, so I'm feeling pretty good (for now anyway). Want to start getting back into a bit more cardio next week as I have scaled back a bit lately and think I need to get a bit more motivated again. Eats are going pretty good, still struggle on those night flights but working on it.

So that was about it for last week, well except for my massive indecisiveness! I have been contemplating competing in the Sports Model category in one of the shows later in the year. So I really wanted to make a decision this week if I was going to give it a go or not. Every time I thought about it I got so excited but at the same moment extremely nervous and thought of every excuse under the sun as why I wouldn't be able to do it:

These are just a few -
- I'll never get into shape in time
- I get so nervous I won't be able to walk on stage
- I'm not the most co-ordinated of people
- I don't think I look like a sportsmodel
- It will be to hard with my new job
- We might be moving to Townsville
- I will have to commute to work, try and find somewhere to train, be staying at friends houses and have to avoid eating crap and alcohol.
- I change employers in September and don't even know if I can have the time of.
- We need to save for our wedding and I can't afford it.
And the list just goes on.........

But with all of those excuses I have decided what the hell I'm going to give it a shot anyway!

I've always said I regret the things I don't do, so who cares if I'm not as good as I think I should be. As long as I can honestly say at the end of it all I gave it my best shot then I'm a winner anyway! So as the saying goes "Feel the fear and do it anyway". (I'm still nervous as hell though).

I wasn't going to say anything but I find I get so much encouragement from all the other bloggers it was a great way to stop me from chickening out! So here goes........ It's only early days and will obviously have to see where I am at a lot closer to the time but I'm going to give it a go.

So that's it for another week, I've done my training for today and I'm of to enjoy the sunshine and a lovely BBQ at some friends house.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love Hilds

New Car!

I'm feeling so much better today after a massive 13 hours, yes that's right 13 hours sleep last night. I crawled into bed at 7:30pm after only 2 hours sleep the night before. I got back from Japan on Friday morning and had to go to the bank in the morning to sort out my car loan details so I only managed to squeeze in 2 hours sleep! Not good as I struggled all day and ate way too many carbs, we even endulged in some pizza and chocolates last night (thanks Carolyn they didn't last long!). It all went down a bit too easily, although had a great HITT session this morning and about to hit the yard to start working it all off, straight back on track!

Things are slowly coming together. Bought a new car this week! Its very exciting as I have been driving a bomb for the last 7 years and most probably another bomb before that. I have never actually had a nice car as I have always had better things to do with my money. But I decided it was time to spoil myself as I earn decent money and while I can, what the hell! So I did it, Cam went to Brissie on Wednesday to check out my new (well not new but as new as I will get!) Toyota Celica. It looks so nice, not that I have seen it in real life yet but should get it in a week or so as we are getting it transported up here. I was going to getting a more practical car, maybe a Mazda 3 or something similar but I decided while I am kid free I'll get myself a toy car instead of the family wagon! So that's one thing of the list.

So now I'm just trying to stop constantly thinking about whether we are moving or not. I find it hard at time like this as I can't seem to get on with much else as I'm just hanging out to know. So anyway have decided to get motivated today and finish of the path I'm doing in the back yard and then might clean up my little old bomb as its looking a bit worse for wear!

So time to get motivated! Have a great weekend everyone.

Love Hilds