Well I'm so glad it's Monday! Last week wasn't the best week I've had. It started out ok, I got my new car on Tuesday which was awesome and am absolutley loving it! Also had managed to swap my trips so I could help Cam out with finishing of this aircon job which we nearly got finished! But as the week progressed I just felt like crap, I was tired, grumpy and feeling quite down. It was so frustrating as I couldn't work out why and no matter what I did I just couldn't seem to snap out of it. I'm guessing it was really bad PMS although wouldn't know as I have gone of the pill and don't really know when they come anymore. Anyway I got back from Japan yesterday and could only sleep for two hours, so felt crap all day and decided I'm going back on the pill as I just couldn't cope with myself. So hopefully I'll start to get back to normal this week. So yesterday I let my emotions win over and ate crap all day, even tried to have a nana nap as I knew I was just really really tired but the more I tried the more my body just wouldn't let me sleep. Anyway got to bed about 10pm last night and up and into it this morning. Managed to fit a 5km run in before getting ready and I'm about to head of to Japan again today, it's going to be a long day!

Anyway on a more positive note, when I get back I have 11 glorious days at home. I'm going to use this time to get motivated again and really get stuck in to training hard and eating well! Positive, positive, positive! So hopefully I won't have to bore you with a depressing, negative post next time!

Anyway better fly!!!!

Love Hilds

Feeling Motivated!

Just thought I'd better do a blog update while I remember. I'm home today and in the process of tidying up our garden (or should I say destroying it). I'm not much of a gardener and tend to just do a massive cutback every few months. I feel a bit sorry for our plants as they don't get much loving around here. It's funny whenever we go to the nursery to buy something (which is very rare) we always ask for the plants that survive on little water, full sunlight and not much attention! The poor nursery staff kinda look at us strangely and explain all plants need water. Well that's our problem we are not very good at consistently watering, we might need to invest in an automated system, oh well its all looking ok and we still have plants so we can't be doing to bad.

So anyway feeling pretty motivated at the moment, not really sure why but I'm not complaining. Feeling quite happy with my nutrition and training at the moment and just extremely excited about my upcoming challenge. I'm so glad I've made the commitment to compete and have stopped stressing as much and am just ready to give it my best. I've had a big change in mind set due to a few reasons. But one big one is that someone close to me is going through there own personal challenge at the moment (sorry can't tell details) but it has made me realise if they can face their fears head on then mine seems easy in comparison (still terrifying though!). So I'm ready for whatever is given to me. I've got Sue working out a program for me and I hopefully I will also be getting some help from Di (need as much help as I can get). I'm still looking at trying to get down to Melbourne for the INBA comp as I think it would be good to see a show before I do one myself (or maybe not, might scare me even more. he he).

All is going well on the work front. Things should be staying the same for now which is nice. The rosters are pretty good at the moment and tending to get lots of time at home. Although things will change in the next couple of months as we will cease to be Australian Airlines and will instead be employed by Qantas. This means we all need to undergo training to work on different aircraft. So hopefully by September the change over will be complete, this will mean very different flying for me and I will also have to bid for my roster. Currently we mainly just do short Japan trips and Sydney overnights and the occasional long Manilla trip. Whereas with Qantas we don't really know where we will be flying. So far its looking like possibly Shanghai, Narita, Auckland, Hong Kong and domestic destinations around Australia. In a way I'm hoping that the change over will be delayed so I can get the competition out of the way while I have easier rosters to work with. Anyway can't stress over it now will just have to wait and see as the time gets closer. I have also spent months trying to swap my annual leave for January so I can go to my own wedding although now I not even sure if I will still have this annual leave spot. So many what ifs at the moment which is so frustrating.

Another what if! Is the whole moving thing, now its looking like we might be staying in Cairns. So I've started to get all excited about staying, although there is still a possibility we will go. Arghhhhhhh I've had to stop worrying about this too and just deal with it when the times comes (should know for sure in a couple of weeks).

Anyway enough babble for another day! Time to get cleaned up because I'm going to get my new car!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm very excited!!!!!!!!

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Cheers Hilds

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Mind Games!

Well another week down! It has been a busy one both physically and mentally.

Had to help Cam out with aircon cleaning on Monday and Tuesday, and boy was that fun (can you hear the sarcasm in my voice!). No it wasn't too bad we got heaps done, but sitting in the sun reading a book sounds so much better. We are both pretty busy at the moment, as Cam is trying to finish of his Customs training plus fit in his aircon work and I'm well not as busy but flying here and there and studying for my next exam and helping Cam out when ever I can. Have actually managed to swap my long Manilla trip next week so I can help out with more aircons. I think I must be crazy, I'm missing out on 2 Sydney overnights to clean aircons!

Anyway all is going well, managed to get back in to proper training again. Did my high intensity leg routine on Thursday and haven't been able to walk properly since. I actually think its the worst doms I have ever had. I had to fly home from Japan last night and really struggled walking up and down that aisle!!!!! Anyway I made it and actually got 4 hours sleep this morning, so I'm feeling pretty good (for now anyway). Want to start getting back into a bit more cardio next week as I have scaled back a bit lately and think I need to get a bit more motivated again. Eats are going pretty good, still struggle on those night flights but working on it.

So that was about it for last week, well except for my massive indecisiveness! I have been contemplating competing in the Sports Model category in one of the shows later in the year. So I really wanted to make a decision this week if I was going to give it a go or not. Every time I thought about it I got so excited but at the same moment extremely nervous and thought of every excuse under the sun as why I wouldn't be able to do it:

These are just a few -
- I'll never get into shape in time
- I get so nervous I won't be able to walk on stage
- I'm not the most co-ordinated of people
- I don't think I look like a sportsmodel
- It will be to hard with my new job
- We might be moving to Townsville
- I will have to commute to work, try and find somewhere to train, be staying at friends houses and have to avoid eating crap and alcohol.
- I change employers in September and don't even know if I can have the time of.
- We need to save for our wedding and I can't afford it.
And the list just goes on.........

But with all of those excuses I have decided what the hell I'm going to give it a shot anyway!

I've always said I regret the things I don't do, so who cares if I'm not as good as I think I should be. As long as I can honestly say at the end of it all I gave it my best shot then I'm a winner anyway! So as the saying goes "Feel the fear and do it anyway". (I'm still nervous as hell though).

I wasn't going to say anything but I find I get so much encouragement from all the other bloggers it was a great way to stop me from chickening out! So here goes........ It's only early days and will obviously have to see where I am at a lot closer to the time but I'm going to give it a go.

So that's it for another week, I've done my training for today and I'm of to enjoy the sunshine and a lovely BBQ at some friends house.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love Hilds

New Car!

I'm feeling so much better today after a massive 13 hours, yes that's right 13 hours sleep last night. I crawled into bed at 7:30pm after only 2 hours sleep the night before. I got back from Japan on Friday morning and had to go to the bank in the morning to sort out my car loan details so I only managed to squeeze in 2 hours sleep! Not good as I struggled all day and ate way too many carbs, we even endulged in some pizza and chocolates last night (thanks Carolyn they didn't last long!). It all went down a bit too easily, although had a great HITT session this morning and about to hit the yard to start working it all off, straight back on track!

Things are slowly coming together. Bought a new car this week! Its very exciting as I have been driving a bomb for the last 7 years and most probably another bomb before that. I have never actually had a nice car as I have always had better things to do with my money. But I decided it was time to spoil myself as I earn decent money and while I can, what the hell! So I did it, Cam went to Brissie on Wednesday to check out my new (well not new but as new as I will get!) Toyota Celica. It looks so nice, not that I have seen it in real life yet but should get it in a week or so as we are getting it transported up here. I was going to getting a more practical car, maybe a Mazda 3 or something similar but I decided while I am kid free I'll get myself a toy car instead of the family wagon! So that's one thing of the list.

So now I'm just trying to stop constantly thinking about whether we are moving or not. I find it hard at time like this as I can't seem to get on with much else as I'm just hanging out to know. So anyway have decided to get motivated today and finish of the path I'm doing in the back yard and then might clean up my little old bomb as its looking a bit worse for wear!

So time to get motivated! Have a great weekend everyone.

Love Hilds

My head is spinning!!!!

Wow so much is going on at the moment. So I apologize for my lack of posting but have had way too much to think about latley.

So where do I start!

Two weeks ago Cam and myself headed down to my little sisters wedding in Adelaide. It was an awesome weekend with a beautiful little ceremony in the Adelaide Hills. The night before the wedding myself and my two sisters and Mum and Dad stayed at a B&B together. It was so much fun as it has been years since we have all spent the night together with no partners, kids or anyone else, it felt like we were kids again. We all went out to dinner then got back to the B&B and put our pj's on and had a family slide show in front of the open fire. It was fantastic and amazing to look back at all the baby pics and Mum and Dad when they were all spunky! (not that they are not spunky now, just in case they are reading!) Myself and my older sister got stuck into the redwine and vodka and ended up sitting up quite late munching on any goodies we could find stashed in the B&B! The following day was the wedding and we all had an amazing day. At the end of it all Cam & I stayed back and cleaned up while the newly married couple went of to dinner and then went to go back to our B&B until we discovered my sister had locked the keys inside. It was a close call as we really didn't want to crash the wedding couple on their wedding night but luckily the owners came down and let us in! The next day it was an early flight back to Adelaide.

The next day I had my surgery booked in for Monday afternoon. All went well and I woke up feeling rather happy (gotta love the hospital drugs!). I ended up taking the week of work and just rested at home as I wasn't quite up to flying to Japan. I must say it was really hard for me to not train all week, but I managed it and I'm sure it has helped me get back on track. The following Friday I flew down to Adelaide again, this time for the big wedding party! It was a very wet weekend in Adelaide, which everyone except us was very happy about. Anyway to keep it short the pary was awesome, heaps of great people, dancing and a few too many drinks! We got back to our hotel room about 2:30pm and it felt like only a minute before our alarm was going at 6:30am to head to the airport. I'm glad we were catching a cab as I still felt drunk from the night before! I'm so glad it was a direct flight as 3 hours later we were back in Sunny Cairns and a very relaxing day!

So on to this week! Another full on week, I've managed to get back into training and have done two trips, one to Japan and the other down to Sydney. Cam and I have had to do a lot of thinking this week and make some big decisions. Cam has decided to put in a for a position with Customs in Townsville. It would be a good opportunity for us as Cam would be put on full time, we would get our rent paid for and and it would be a nice change. So we thought what the heck lets give it a go. So hopefully we find out next week if we will be moving in a couple of weeks. I'm also in the process of getting a new car as mine is about to die. I also found out on Thursday that all of the Cairns base Australian Airlines crew will be employed full time with qantas short haul. This was great news as we all thought that they were just going to get rid of us all and we would be lucky to get redundancy packages. So I have been checking out places to live in Townsville plus deciding what to do with our house plus organising somewhere for me to stay as I would commute to work from Townsville. So its all happening for us, but all very exciting.

Haven't had a minute to think about wedding stuff, but need to get motivated and make some bookings as a few friends have already booked their flights and we don't even have anything organised!!! So in all this mayhem I'm managing to keep up with my training an nutrition and have a much more balanced approach.

Well enough rambling for one post, should never leave it this long between posting as I have way too much to say!

Hope everyone is well! Love Hilds

P.S Congratulations to all the girls who have competed latley you all look fantastic! And also to Carolyn who had her final pics taken and is a true inspiration.