Hormones and Depression

Oh my god sometimes I just wish I wasn't a woman! The last couple of weeks my hormones have been completely out of control. After 15 years I decided to go of the pill, not realising what a complete nightmare it would be. The last couple of weeks I've been so depressed, crying all the time for no apparent reason, forgetful, tired and just not at all myself! My poor new husband! (I think he has had moments where he was wondering why we got married!).

At the best of times I struggle not to slip into depression and rely heavily on exercising and eating well to keep me in a good frame of mind but with the change in hormones even that hasn't been enough. I went to the Dr the other day and was a blubbering mess and I was informed I'm depressed! Well I knew that, but what can I do to fix it! I pretty much know I have to exercise, eat well, think positive thoughts just to stay on track, but it is so so so frustrating when you are so down and there isn't a real reason for it.

Many of my family suffer from depression and up to now I was hoping that by living the way I do I could avoid it. My sister has got to a point where she relies on anti depressants and until seeing what dark places she got into I always thought there was so many other options. I still believe that for so many the benefits or a good clean diet and regular exercise are amazing although when it gets to the point you cannot function in your daily life then I do believe that medication can assist. In saying that I'm trying to keep positive and have been exercising lots, eating so well and taking every supplement known to man!

Although even with all the healthy living I am successfully putting on a kilo each week! I think (hope) a lot of it has to do with my hormones being out of control and not having a period since being of the pill. I just feel so puffy and fat that it is a depressing vicious circle.

Anyway just needed to get that of my chest. If there is anyone out there who has experienced anything similar I would love to hear from you.

For now I will keep positive and in saying that I'm of to the gym for session number two today (gotta do something to make me feel good!)

Love Hilds

Hooked on FACEBOOK

I never thought I would be one to get hooked on something like facebook. The last couple of days I've been amazed at how many friends I have found through facebook. Its been great seeing pics of all your old school friends and seeing where everyone is at. Although it hasn't been too good for me achieving my massive TO DO LIST.

Is anyone else out there a bit of a list freak. Each day I have to have my list of things to do, I rarely get it all done but without my list I feel a little lost. I've found after getting back from holidays I'm finding it really hard to get my mojo back!

I used to get up at 5am to do my workouts and would rarely miss one although this week I've been struggling to get up at 8am and have been up to midnight most nights. Don't know what's happening but can't wait to be an early riser again, I seem to get so much more done.

Just heard that Cam & I are off to Airlie Beach for 2 nights on Sunday. I can't wait I haven't even spend a night with Cam yet as he is on afternoon shift this week. I haven't been to Airlie for years so if will be great just to get away for a couple of days. Also next weekend we are off to Adelaide as its Cam's Dad 60th. I really don't think I'm meant to sleep in the same bed for more than a week.

Anyway stomach is rumbling, time for a big juicy salad!

Love Hilds

So good to be home....

I'm finally home after two weeks of flying all over the place. It was a bit of a shock to the system going straight back to work after only 2 days at home. I ended up doing a 6 day trip to Singapore, with lots of flying back and forth. On one day we flew from Singapore to Perth and back to Singapore, it was a very long day. So anyway all the hard work is over and I'm very very happy to be home until the end of February.

I am no longer working at the gym as I was just getting way too tired to fit it all in. So now I have heaps of time to get stuck into my many exciting goals for 2008.

This year I will be getting stuck into my own business (will reveal all once it is all finalised). Keeping up with my fitness and trying to get a bit leaner and fitter. I also need to complete my cert 4 (nearly there, I have just been dragging out the last little bit!).

I've also gone of the pill after about 15 years so I'm looking forward to seeing if I even get a proper cycle and getting myself ready to have a baby! Its kinda freaky thinking about having a baby but we can't keep putting it off forever. So were not trying right now (just practicing!!!) but later in the year we will most probably try. Its kinda funny that you put so much thought into wether to have a child or not and its quite possible that you can't, but we will cross that road if it comes.

So I'll be focussing on getting myself fit and healthy and in a good place before we think about having a bub. I'm seriously starting to get clucky although quite scared at the same time (I think about all that will change a little bit too much). I've downloaded this ovulation calender and its pretty groovy coz it tells you when you should/shouldn't be having sex, it says it can also help you determine what sex your baby will be (no idea if this works but sounds interesting).

Anyway I got back to the gym today as I have only been doing bits and pieces over the last few weeks. I did legs on friday and geez I have been sore the last few days. I don't think I have ever been this sore, ever, I could barely walk up the aisle on the aircraft and had to fall into bed as it hurt too much to bend, even had to lower myself on the loo (you know your in a bad way when that happens), I felt like I had done some serious damage. I should learn to ease back into things, although I do love getting Doms as you know you have trained hard. So back on track and hopefully the holiday weight starts to come off. I'm always a bit bigger after a good holiday but I expect it now (I like to truly relax on holidays!) and just know it will take me a few weeks to feel back to normal again.

Anyway enough rambling for one day!

Love Hilds

BEWARE LONG WEDDING POST!

The Italians!

I'M MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!

And wow what an amazing time it was. I still can't believe that we had so many friends and family come all the way to Thailand to help us celebrate getting married!

We had the best day ever, I could do it over an over again.

It wasn't your typical wedding! I saw Cam the morning of the wedding and we hung out and had breaky and caught up with some friends. I was maybe a bit too relaxed and didn't start getting ready until way way too late. So I was a bit flustered when my hair wouldn't go right (95% humidity and a broken aircon didn't help!). So with my makeup melting of my face and my hair that wouldn't hold a curl to save its life I wasn't feeling too flash! The funny thing is as soon as I saw Cam and we were all on the boat I couldn't have cared less (wouldn't have mattered how my hair turned out anyway, as once I got on the speed boat it went everywhere anyway!). I couldn't stop smiling and just had the best day ever!

We caught a speedboat over to Bamboo Island, which is just off of Phi Phi Island. We ended up getting there a bit early, so when we arrived at Bamboo there were still a few Day Tripper tourists on the beach. It turned out to be the funniest part of the day, as we were all getting of the boat everyone (50+ people) on the beach started cheering and clapping (by the way we weren't even married yet!). I think they thought we were famous or something because I have never seen so many cameras in all my life. We were getting photos with old italian men in their speedos (nice!), their children and whoever else they could throw at us. Don't quite know what I was thinking getting married in the heat of the day in Thailand, I was just glad I'd had a couple of champas before arriving!

So it was lots and lots of pictures a very funny ceremony where our celebrant Noi could not pronounce my name to save his life (it was quite entertaining). I thought I would have been a blubbering mess but it turned out I was having too much fun and had troubles to stop laughing.

So the wedding day was just perfect!

Although all didn't go too well in the lead up. On the way to Thailand we lost our bags (first crying session). Our flight to Phuket was delayed, meaning we missed the ferry to Phi Phi, wasted a nights accommodation and had no where to stay in Phuket. The room we booked on Phi Phi was right near the pool, which is fine but also right near the noisy bar, most nights didn't get to sleep until 2am, lucky we were drinking every day!

Because some guests were only arriving a couple of days before the wedding we decided to have the combined Hens/Bucks night (I know not traditional to have them together but lots of fun!) on the Saturday night and the wedding was on the Monday. We drank to who knows what time, went swimming fully clothed and danced on the beach all night, it was soooo much fun. So Cam was half dead all day Sunday, I was sorta coping but not too well. Thank god for an amazing sister and some great friends who got all my crap together for me. You plan to eat well and exercise right up until your wedding day, well I think I did the opposite. I didn't want to regret not enjoying every minute with our family and friends in Thailand, so I did enjoy every minute!

We ended up having to change our honeymoon accommodation due to making sure we got to spend time with everyone. So the amazing place we were suppose to stay wasn't free on the dates we needed so we stayed in Krabi instead. It was an amazing resort although they had a French Conference group there who had big party/bands on every night (lucky we got room moved). Then on the way home we couldn't get any accommodation in Singapore so we had to spend the whole night hanging in Changi airport (2nd crying episode!).

All in all it was a big adventure and the best part is that the wedding couldn't have been better if we wanted it to be! Just might need another honeymoon.

So on to an exciting year. I have so many plans, both personal and business wise this year (but I'll save that for another post!).

Will visit everyones blogs soon, have been outta the loop for too long.

Lots of Love Hilds